[16 Oct 2004|10:11pm] This will be my last entry on this username. My new journal is the_ashanator! soo..yay!

[15 Oct 2004|01:07am] [ mood | discontent ] Once everyone has commented on my journal to be added (on one of the last 2 entries I've had) I am going to transfer everyone to my new journal. Basically, because its too much of a hassel to change all of my entries to friends only, so i am just going to make a new one. I wont start the new journal until Saturday night.  The username is.. the_ashanator   Its not cool, I know. But I think it fits me better than this depressing one. 2 |

[14 Oct 2004|09:26pm] [ mood | bitchy ] There will be some significant friends changes. You must comment on this entry, or you will not be added back. It will be friends only. And once you comment, then I will decide if I want you reading it. I know some people will be out of town, but thats only one person I know of. The deadline will be Saturday night. 48 hours. <3 15 |

Nevermind [13 Oct 2004|10:47pm] [ mood | cranky ] scratch that last entry... ;'[

[13 Oct 2004|02:23pm] [ mood | sick ] I missed the PSAT today because I am sick. :/ I get working on my paper due tomorrow. I dont know what to say. I must say, I have a new crush. Haha. MY LIPS ARE SEALED! But alot of people talk about us. I dont know. Ha. <33 5 |

[10 Oct 2004|07:12pm] Today was a good day, until a few minutes ago. But to make a long story short, I went shopping today in Greensboro. We just went to Old Navy and Kohls. But I spent all of my money. Everything I got was at Old Navy. I got a teal hoodie that says "Aloha" and its pretty. I also got some kahki/brown corduroy pants, a velvet black blazer, and a maroon ribbed v-neck sweater. <3333333 2 |

[09 Oct 2004|12:43am] [ mood | Happy / sneezing ] I dont update anymore. :/ I hate allergies. I just got finished watching Jersey Girl. Its a great movie. I cried like a thousand times during it.. Ben Affleck is so hot. Today (Friday), was great. I had an awesome day at school and nealry EVERYONE told me something about my Kenny Chesney shirt. Either they had one or thought he was hot. What else is knew? lol. In 4th period we are making newsletters, and we got to choose 3- 5 pics to put on it. I got a good picture of Zac Obrien; Alex Davis and Amber Miller cheering at the pep rally; and Taylor, Whitney and Jessica on animated character day. Its gonna look good. When I came home, I just watched a little TV and fell asleep. I had a good dream too! <3 I hope I go shopping tomorrow, if not, I might go to Asheville with my dad go get my moms father's Cadillac. We are gonna sell it for him. The only thing wrong with it is that the radio doesn't work, so I don't know what I am gonna do. 2 |

Oh maybe... [03 Oct 2004|05:27pm] [ mood | confused ] I haven't updated in quite a while. But I will start with Thursday. Thursday- I am sooo confused. I swear, if I go to another JV game, I will die. No comment on that... :[ Friday- School. Alot better. But still not great. Then my mom picked my up at Katelyns and we went to the carwash and ND to get Jake. Jake went to the fair with Daven. I wanted to go to the game, but I couldn't because I had to babysit Zachary and Jordan (cousins from Charlotte) at my great-aunt Kaye's house. So my mom took me to Kaye's at like 6. They were not leaving until 8. So by the time they left, we just played and stuff. Then I was supposed to put them to bed at 9:30, but they were watching Stuart Little and they wanted me to finish my spiderman drawing before they went to bed. So being the nice person I am (ha) I let them stay up til like 10:30. They werent even tired then. But they went to sleep. Then I went downstairs to watch the news and see Davie on there! =) I died laughing because Ted could like barely read and then Dave Goren was like "Thats Ted Randolph who is going to Wake Forest next year!" Haha. His dad is my neighbor and I wish that he lived with him for various reasons. LOL. So about 1, I went to bed listening to 104.1 because the TV in that room didnt work. Saturday- Mom picked me up at 8 and we went home to change clothes. Then we went to Barbara's (Katelyn's g-ma) to go with alla them to the Apple Festival. It was sooo hot. And I was in a damn hoodie. But I took my shirt off and wore the dirty white one underneath it. LOL I was stlying. It wasn't fun at first. Then Katelyn squirted water on Lisa, and like her g-ma was asking her if she had a "blow out" and Lisa goes "maybe I did?!" and when she said that Katelyn drowned on her water. LMAO!!!!!!!But me, Mark, and Katelyn went into this bookstore with like old used books. And it was like a maze. Something happened, and we ran out before the guy could see us. LMAO I aint saying what it was. Then we ate lunch and we were like hanging off this cement thing and a van was infront of us. Well I was wiggling like Tom Green did on Jay Leno to this band (it was soo funny) and well we were dying laughing. Then all of a sudden, a marshmellow fell from the tree and hit the van. IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS! Oh man... I only got 3 things, a pin for a jacket, some earrings and a ceiling fan pull thing. Katelyn didn't see anything she liked. "One day she will be a woman and know what is pretty." LMAO! Thats what her g-ma told her to her face! AHAHHAHA Today- BORING. I am just doing my homework and project. </3 2 |

[27 Sep 2004|07:31pm] Private entry...

No school for me [27 Sep 2004|04:06pm] [ mood | tired ] I didnt go to school today. I was up all night sick. Also, my allergies today were awful! But I guess I gotta hit it back tomorrow. My mom wasn't feeling good either, so she came home at lunch. I have only slept and downloaded music today. I have a new favorite song! Its "Word Up" by KoRn. Its not really a new song, but I love it. I know what your thinking...KoRn. Yes, I had always thought they were freaky, but after seeing this video and this song..they don't seem like it. Oh well. Haha I love the song. And now its on my info. I did have Nelly and Tim McGraw's new song, "Over and Over" but I took it off because alot of people have it on their info. And well I dont wanna be like everyone else. Haha. BTW- If anyone would like to donate to the "Ashlee Needs Winter Clothes" Fund, that would be great. And just so you know, all donations are greatly appreciated. Haha. 2 |

Homecoming and stuff [25 Sep 2004|06:16pm] Friday- Bad. I didn't laugh once..thats sad. I mean, I laugh so much, but I don't even think I smiled Friday. It was homecoming. I wasn't feeling the spirit at all. I didn't want to go to the game anymore. :/ But I had too. Ugh. It was a little bit better on the way there and at Zekos with The Manspile's. The game made it worse. I tried not to show it. I dont think I did that much. I was trying to have fun with Graham, Tiffany, and Katelyn...I did. I won't go into what made me so sad on Friday.   Today- I didn't even feel like waking up and being here today. But I woke up at 3 PM! And I watched a little bit of Dave the Barbarian. Then all of a sudden, Mark and Katelyn showed up. So I run to my room and put some better pajamas on. Haha. And like we got online. When they left, I was like "Momma, I need to go get some a display board for my English Project." She wanted to know when it was due. Well its not due October 4th and thats 2 weeks from now. I want to get a head start on it, so I didnt tell her when it was due. Then she read the project assignment thing and went off. All because I want some cheap cloth. The character I am doing it on is blind, and I wanted to incorporate that some how. And she went off...I could understand if it was expensive, but it's not. And she is always preaching about how I procrastinate so much. And now, for once, I am wanting to get it done early. UGH! Now I am crying. God. I really hate my life. She was like "It says nothing about cloth on that sheet. You just want to spend $20 when she is just gonna give you an F anyways!" Mrs. Cartner clearly said to stand out and be unique with our projects. And my mom goes "Nobody else is gonna need cloth." And I was like "GOOD! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE UNIQUE IN IT!" But no...I guess I will spend my own money on it. Gah.   I want to just go cry. 2 |

[23 Sep 2004|07:34pm] [ mood | lonely ] Can we say, private entry? Today calls for one.

Do it... [20 Sep 2004|09:41pm] [ mood | bouncy ] Today was great! I was pimpin' for sure in my cowboy hat. Haha. We took pictures in Comp. Apps of each other. So I might take my disk home and post my pictures of what I looked like today. I won Interact Club Historian..I just am not sure what to do!  Here are Ashlee's results 1. John Michael Grose 2. Josh Britt 3. Ben Bruffey 4. Justin Lee 5. Michael Smith 6. Quinton Faulkner 7. Matt Vanhoy 8. Rikki Pratt 9. Tyler Jolbert 10. Logan Joldersma 11. Trey Archer 12. Conrad Beauchamp 13. William Newsome 14. Tyler Wooten 15. Andrew Linhart The bold ones, are the better ones. Haha. I dont know a few of those people. Tomorrow is college day! YES! I am gonna be all DUKEd out! I can't wait. I am probably gonna do some face painting. I am wearing one of my Duke shirts, blue socks, I cant decide weather to jsut wear my capris, or wear my duke shorts over them too. Oh yeah, my duke head/sweatband. That will be so hott! Haha. We'll see in the morning! YAY!

Football game [18 Sep 2004|11:02pm] [ mood | jealous ] Tonight I went to the davie game at Statesville. We had a whole lot more people than they did. They didn't even have a band! I sat and talked to Brettly and Taylor Randall the whole time. We killed the other team. I left at the beginning of 4th quarter and it was 51-0. I have a STRONG feeling that we won. I found out 2 things that were dissapointing. I wont say what one was, it wasn't that bad, just shocking. Then the other was something about someone that..I dont even know how to put it...She is so lucky. I would do anything to be in her posistion right now, but I'm not..and I can't handle that.. </3 3 |

Here it is.. [18 Sep 2004|04:32pm] [ mood | sad ] "I'm very dissapointed in the fact that people do not appreciate unconventional beauty..." I am not even gonna go into that.

[17 Sep 2004|04:49pm] [ mood | bored ] Today was a really good day, BESIDES THE RAIN! I was supposed to get my pictures remade, but the bus driver let us out in the rain, I was pissed. So I looked like a wet dog and just kept my old ones. My nose was running all day because my hair was soaking wet and all my classes are cold. :/ I am really dissapointed in a few people.. 2 |

Give it up.. [16 Sep 2004|04:36pm] [ mood | rejected ] Just tie the rope, and kick the chair. Leave me hanging there just gasping for air       My weekly overview.. I have had better days.   Tuesday-  School. Then we went to Jake's game at North. He doesn't play because of his arm, but we still went to watch Zack, John, and alla them. Then we just came home really fast and left to eat. We went to Zekos. Imagine that.   Wednesday- Went to North's 8th grade game. Then I went home and changed my shirt quick. Then me and Amber went to McDonald's in Mocksville. We saw Jaspen and Dontay there. Jaspen said hey. Then we headed over to Davie for the JV game. It was kinda boring, since we won 21-0. We're undedeated. The best part was when KB ran the touchdown for 90 yards on the kickoff after half-time. LMAO. I was cracking up. Statesville really sucks. Then about 9:30 I came home and went straight to bed.   Today- I made a 96 on my Holocaust collage. I was very proud, saying that I got an F and have to redo my other one because of that dumb bitch. Then in science, we had a test. I think I did pretty good. Not a 100 though. Maybe like a 92 or something. Geometry = BORING. Lunch, I love Brettly. We crack up everyday. And Richard, today, he pointed at Adam when he moved over there with them and Richard looked at Brettly. LMAO It was soooo funnnyy! Computer Apps II...Mr. Moore gave us a vocab test...I didn't do really good on that.  Then he handed me a ballot for Interact Club. I voted for myself for Historian. I hope I get it..but I won't like die or anything if I dont. I voted, for Amanda for Vice Pres. and Kara Deadmon for President. I have no clue who she is lol but I have heard of her I think...and well I didn't wanna vote the other people.   Thats my past few days. Wednesday was the best.   I can't do this anymore..gah.   Only one person knows what I mean..and thats Britt McGee.   ILU all. <3     5 |

If you only knew... [12 Sep 2004|12:21am] [ mood | depressed ] Today is day 10. Yes, I have been keeping track. It's the 10th day in a row that I have cried myself to sleep. I just woke up. About 10:30, I layed down and cried myself to sleep. And I woke up out of a dream. I won't go into detail about it.. It wasn't a bad dream. (not in a sexual way) Which is essentially why I woke up. If I had let the dream continue, I would have gotten my hopes up. And we all know what happens when that happens to miss Ashlee... rock bottom. So I woke up. Now, I can't get my hopes up on something that will never happen in this lifetime. I don't update anymore. Mainly because its really hard to puy my life into words. Whatever... Nothing really matters to me anymore. Like when I think about people that I like, I am just like..oh well..ya know? It's weird. I am not sure about anything anymore. That Italy meeting is Monday. I don't know about it anymore. It is gonna depress me even more to go there and be there alone.. And on top of that, I am scared to go. Especially alone. I wish I had a good friend that was going. My mom probably isn't going to let me go if I don't know anyone else going. Life for me = not so great He makes me soo mad. These little things he does just drive me crazy...I wish he was different. But hey, what can a girl like me do about that? Not a damn thing. People really make me mad. I am just gonna lay low and let them run me over. Why even bother to stand up in this world? You just get put right back down. I just keep crying... 5 |

[08 Sep 2004|09:02pm] [ mood | depressed ] Today sucked. I am so sick of it. All of it. I am so sick of pretending. Pretending and acting. Pretending like it doesn't bother me. But it does. Oh so much. I dont even know. There was only one good thing today. But it was forgotten. I can't even enjoy the good times anymore. Problem is, only one person could ever help me. And they don't even know it. I am so thankful for my hands. They are so absorbment. They hold more tears than you could ever imagine...:'( </3 whatever 2 |

[07 Sep 2004|04:39pm] [ mood | mellow ] Today.. I was already mad this morning because my dad was talking soo loud when he got up and my mom talked back! Just because she didn't have to work, doesn't mean I don't need sleep! So I was mad. Then me and Katelyn were are the bus stop, and it started raining. We ran and hid under a tree in my driveway. Haha. So my hair was messed up. :/ Then I get to school... Umm...what can I say? Tomorrow in English we have some gay ass trial to do. Ugh. Today was the worst day in science I have had. I saw alot of things..and it made me think, alot. We didn't do a single thing but watch a movie... and nobody payed attention. Also, during science, I glanced over at Jade and she looked so much like Jessica Simpson. Haha. Thats good and all but I mean, I have never really saw the resemblence THAT much. It was crazy. Geometry went by faster than normal. We just basically chilled. Literally. It was so fucking cold in there..I am glad I didn't wear flip flops in there, or my toes would have gotten frostbite! =( Lunch, the normal...staring at "the hottie". Haha. And my name is Kendra now. ;] 4th- boring. Afterschool... There was an Interact club meeting today. Mr. Moore told me it would last approx. 30 mins. W-R-O-N-G it was like 10! I got an officer application. I wanna be a historian or something, but I won't be very disappointed if I'm not because there are alot of people running now. After the meeting, me and Katelyn went outside and talked to Tiffany, Logan, and Daniel T. Hmm.. Today is one of those sit and cry days... 8 |

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